Facade

I'm not really free to express my emotions here in social media,

I am hindered by the people I love,

To love someone so much that it hurts...

so much that it kills you inside...

So much that you can't put it into words...

I can’t express my pain...

I can’t even paint…

No color can define how dark I feel right now…

No amount of shade or hue…

It’s a pain that you cannot find on the spectrum…

...

Why is it so painful?

To love someone too much… that you allow them to hurt you…

And you forgive them anyway... and then getting away with it…

I can feel my core droping it's temperature

How can I possibly get out of this pain...

I hope someone could help me...

so this is how it feels...

That the only way to end this pain is to end it all...

I hope someone out there could read this…

It’s easy to decipher these symbols

But it’s not easy to understand this feeling…

I love life…

I love being happy…

But I can’t find true happiness when the only person I dreamed of loving forever and share my life with…

Who once loved me so much…

Who once cared so much…

Who’s my best friend…

Suddenly decided not to love me anymore…

Disengaged…

I cannot put it anymore into words…

I am not even free..

I am holding on…

I will be holding on…

Until I can still grip…

Until the last thing I grip onto is a…